Grandpa has decided not to die, people! My Dad has stage 4 Non-small cell lung cancer and he's not been in the best of health lately. A mini stroke, some falls, mental confusion, weight loss, you name it he's been going through it. As you can imagine it would be hard to sit inside a dying body and watch the world go on around you... it must have been difficult to keep a positive outlook. The last few weeks I have been trying to spend more time helping out in any way I can, and just hanging out with my parents. It's been great and hard at the same time. It's awfully difficult to see your parents in such compromised situations. Vunerable. As a mom and a wife, I am really truly seeing things in such a different light. I think mostly about being a parent and leaving my family prematurely and about being a wife loosing her husband of 42 years. Yesterday I went over to spend the afternoon with my dad, just him and I. And he was up and about and very talkitive. There was no shuffling around, or wide confused eyes-- he was different. We sat down and chatted over a cup of coffee, and he told me that he's not ready to leave us -- "I'm not ready to die yet".
I am a believer in mind over matter and I can see it working in him. I've heard the stories of people curing them selves by thinking positively -- and who knows, it could happen! Even if his positive thoughts just buy us more time I'm ok with that too.